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    Food, Folks and Fun?

    Is everyone thinking about Thanksgiving yet? I know I am. To Cleveland Herman and I will go, where my Mom only knows how to cook for forty. Unfortunately, neither one of my sisters are planning on being there, so I’m thinking about fasting for a couple of days before going. I hope Herman will do the same, because there will be tons of food there.

    Traditionally what happens is that I wind up taking a ridiculous amount of food home with me. My Mom kind of always insists, in that she’s there all alone. And of course she hates to throw anything out. This, I think, runs in the family.

    Every time my aide or Herman tries to clean out the refrigerator I find myself promising to eat those items that are left over and being tossed. What actually happens is that I get them to hold out for a few days until there is a unanimous agreement that they have to go. As I’m writing this, Herman’s looking over my shoulder and reminding me that we have a whole pot of fried rice from a week and a half ago that is past needing to be eaten. So after this column is done, Herman’s trotting to the refrigerator (I’m going to make him trot) to discard it. I need to face facts, there’re cooked eggs in that fried rice. Not good.

    Though…it’s getting to be dinner time soon. Maybe I’ll save it, and just on principle eat it. I can tell you right now Herman won’t touch it. He will instead want to use his new pots and pans with the super no stick bottoms to whip something up. Have I ever told you about these great ivy pans I bought? Herman and my aide hate them, but I love how they look. In fact, after Herman got his new ones (which I bought for him) the beautiful ivy pots got moved to the top of the cabinets so I could see them all the time.

    Terry gave me the option of placing Herman’s new pots there (ugly!) and so I went for mine instead. What Terry really wanted to do, as did Herman, was toss them out in the garbage. In fact, she tells the story about when she and her husband first got together, he had a similar set of pots and pans. She took one look at them, and said, "Either they go or I go." So into the trash they went.

    At this point, the only thing the ivy pots are used for is to boil my eggs at breakfast or the big one for use with my air popped popcorn. I tried to convince Herman to use them to make me some chocolate pudding pie, and his response was swift. "The pudding absolutely sticks to the inside of these pans and so I have to wash them in the sink before putting them in the dish washer, so what’s the point?"

    "Plus," he continued, "Every time I wash out those pots in the sink, the handle always falls off and I have to super glue it back on." Did I ever tell you guys that my "fabulous" ivy pot set has detachable handles? Well, actually they aren’t supposed to detach. My theory is that they make a great conversation piece. Plus, it wasn’t as much fun scraping out the pudding from the new pots. It just comes out too easy. It didn’t even feel good to lick out the bowl. I think part of my fun is seeing Herman flip out with frustration in trying to scrape the stuck pudding out of the bowl without breaking another handle.

    I’ll just have to find my fun somewhere else with Herman. Driving to Cleveland for Thanksgiving is an immediate entertainment watching Herman white knuckle it through traffic. And at the other end is all that brisket and turkey and noodle kugel and farfel which is a grain product that I’m convinced only my Mom can make properly. (She sent me the recipe and Herman tried to no avail.) The good cooking will come at Thanksgiving with lots of leftovers and THERE’s something to be thankful for!

    "Kathryn Spira, a native of Cleveland who pursued an acting career in NYC and Los Angeles, now pursues free lance writing from Caroga Lake here in Fulton County. Previous columns may be accessed at her web site www.kathrynskorner.com"