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    It’s Turtlenecks and Long Pants For Me

    I can't believe I finally did it. I changed my wardrobe from summer shorts to my winter turtlenecks. I also changed all my shorts to long pants. I actually did this about the third week in October. I really didn't want to do it, but looking at the weather reports for the last week in October it seemed to me to be an obvious change.

    I did this with the help of my aide, Terry. She was amazed by the amount of turtlenecks that I own. This whole operation took place upstairs. And we actually started downstairs in my closet by gathering out all my tank tops and shorts before we went on upstairs. I insisted on going upstairs because I so infrequently go up, and I was curious to take a look upstairs. Jerry warned me before we went out that the area that Herman uses this was a mess. I heard what she said but I really didn't take her to seriously because I'm always after Herman to keep it cleaned. I assumed he did that. But I was wrong. I'm talking way wrong.

    Once I saw the mess he made, I tried to stay focused on what I was doing upstairs. I figured Herman would take care of his mess after I was finished yelling at him. What I actually did was just talked to him and both Terry and I asked him very nicely to clean out his mess. He's actually upstairs right now hopefully doing just that, but my gut tells me that he's actually writing and not cleaning. Plus I hear the clicking of the key is on his laptop computer. Which tells me he isn't doing any cleaning at all.

    I just called him down here to help me type as I’m getting tired of correcting all the mistakes this voice activation software system is mis-recognizing. Remember when I wrote you a column where I included all the mistakes? I don’t want to do that again. As I’m watching Herman type this as per my dictation I feel kind of satisfied each time he makes a spelling mistake and has to go back and correct it. I’m going to ask him right now as he’s typing for me, "When do you have any intention of possibly cleaning up the balcony?" I’m going to let him type his response to all you guys as witnesses.

    Herman here: "When Kathryn stops asking me a million things in five minutes!"

    I’m about to go read a book now, as this column to you guys is just about done. Herman is going upstairs to "clean." I’ve told him he’s not allowed to go into the guest bedroom where all my shorts and tank tops are. That’s now their room. The next time I’ll be wearing them is probably in February 2003 when I go to Florida to visit Mom. Until then, it’s turtlenecks and long pants for me.

    "Kathryn Spira, a native of Cleveland who pursued an acting career in NYC and Los Angeles, now pursues free lance writing from Caroga Lake here in Fulton County. Previous columns may be accessed at her web site www.kathrynskorner.com"